when — = +

So for Lent, I decided to give up the seemingly obligatory Alcoholic beverage food group. (In retrospect, switching that around, like this guy, would have been much more interesting!)  I did this mostly because I thought I’d been drinking too much in the months leading up to Lent and not really because I thought this would be a big sacrifice.  So, I’m not sure it counts.  However, I bookended this fast with another fast which I refer to as a fast from “video games”.  If you invited me over to play xbox, I would come.  This is not that. This fast is from mindless solitary games that I would waste hours upon hours after I got home in the evening, particularly, the Settlers of Catan online.

If you were previously unaware or I had you confused, I am a dork.

This fast has been of great benefit.  I’ve read 4 books in 4 weeks for one.  My wife would say that I cheated on the last book by extreme reading–staying up until 2:30 am multiple nights–but the intention was good, as was the book!

2 things have struck me.

I have wasted an unbelievably inordinate amount of time doing what amounts to nothing remotely productive.  I understand that we all need to check out for awhile after a long day, but for me?  Come on, I started this blog on a Tuesday afternoon at 4:19 and after a 2 hour lunch with a couple of my friends…

I think that wasting time leads to depression which leads to wasting time.

The other observation I have had is the ease of the fasting in general.  I have not had an issue with longing for either of my two subjects.  I have arbitrarily created a rule that I cannot do X, and I would only be cheating myself if I broke the rule.  So it hasn’t been an issue.

The absurdity and much larger issue, which has been thusly exposed, is my constant cheating of myself when I am comparatively free to do whatever I want.  Presently, I’m not convinced freedom is good for me.  It ought to be.

If this is strictly a personal problem, is there a magic pill for this?  My fear is that contemporary thought seems to be that no one is perfect.  That they can’t be.  That this is an impossibility due to factors beyond our control.

If true, this system needs to be changed.  The world we live in is an utter inacceptablility when it comes to living as we ought/want/need, and needs to be rectified.

God are you listening?